Blogging Around

This week, I'm looking around at the most recent blog posts of my fellow classmates and posting my comments. These posts all discuss metacognition of writing our poems for English class. Here we go!

Leanne H. writes about receiving an A on her poem. She wonder why she got this grade when she has trouble seeing how it is a good poem. She also remarks on the homework struggles of us Academy students and others.

I commented:

"Leanne,

I have to say that, even if you don't think your poem is that great, I read it, and I like it a lot. I honestly wish that I could write poetry that well.

And I really do agree that so much of our lives our dominated by school, and therefore we can't just write, or read, or do much of anything "for fun." In fact, that's what I wrote my poem about. On the bright side, we have the blog where we can write a lot of what we want to say. That is, if we had the time. Unfortunately, I find myself constrained by time so much that many of the things I want to write, say, read, or do get thrown by the wayside.

I do hope, however, that you and I, and everyone else in our situation, can find time to write, read, think, and do the things we want. I still have hope that this time will come.

Bye for now,

Daniel"

Brandon I. wrote about his dislike for the poetry revision process. He compared revision to the tedious and annoying process of picking up your dog's feces while on a walk.  He worries that with each revision, he loses the uniqueness and personal voice of his poem that makes it his own.  Ultimately, he says he liked his original draft better than the final draft.

I commented:

"Brandon,

I tend to agree with you that revision can be annoying and end up ruining a work once thought of as your own. But I really do think that Mr. Allen's edits are meant to help us portray our emotions to our reader in the most effective way possible. Even if we think that our poem makes sense, to the reader who doesn't know very much about us, it could make little sense at all. That's what I found with my poem, and so Mr. Allen helped me to clarify the poem. The ultimate goal of this, as I see it, is to make our natural instincts and stream-of-consciousness writing more effective.

Having said that, however, I still see your point that poetry, a very personal and artistic form of writing, should be left to interpretation by the individual. And if Mr. Allen tells us to do certain things, that may just be making our poems more like his poems. So then our next teacher or editor might want something totally different, more along the lines of their poems. Something so stylistic can be hard to tamper with without eliminating the style.

I suppose the goal is to still be able to revise for things that don't make sense without taking too much out of the poem that it is no longer your own.

Best of luck,

Daniel"

Metacognition: Writing (and Editing) Poetry

This week I completed the second draft of my poem that was born about a month ago.  The original assignment was fairly broad - write a poem of at least 100 words using at least one type of figurative language.  Seems easy enough, I thought.  But when I actually sat down to begin the poem, I found myself erasing every line I wrote.  After a while, I decided to take a break until the next night.

And good thing I did, because the next day Mr. Allen explained ways to go about the now-seemingly daunting task of writing poetry.  He advised us to lower our standards and expectations: we cannot expect our first draft to be perfect.  Heck, no successful poet does.  So with that in mind, I went home and, instead of immediately sitting down at my computer and writing, I just went along with other homework I had.  Unfortunately, I got so caught up with my other homework that I neglected to get to the poem.  Fortunately, I still had a few more days.  

This pattern of involuntary avoidance of writing my poem continued until the night before it was due.  I began freaking out about doing the poem, knowing that we'd had plenty of time to do it.  The sickening feeling of procrastination set in on my stomach, and I lurched over to my desk to let my no-longer-connected-to-my-brain fingers get to work.  Sitting there steeping in self-loathing, I asked myself, "How did this happen?"  The first word that popped into my head became the topic of my poem: Homework.  And as soon as I chose my topic, my reconnected-with-my-brain fingers rapidly went to work.  

My poem turned out quite well, I thought.  So I came to school the next, poem in hand, happy to hand it to Mr. Allen, and rightfully so.  He seemed to like the figurative language and voice that I used, but wanted a little more specifics about the speaker and individual scene portrayed in the poem.  And this was my next predicament: How can I combine specifics and universal ideas to create a worthy poem?

So I took the poem home and began diligently working, noticing that I could indeed add specifics to the story without sacrificing the universal meanings of my message.  I didn't take anything out of what I already had, but rather added a couple new stanzas to form a more concrete story and speaker.  This worked well, I think.  I have yet to receive Mr. Allen's comments on this draft, but I hope he finds improvement.

I'll keep you posted.

Best of Week: Medieval vs. Renaissance in King Lear

This week, our English teacher, Mr. Allen, introduced us to the writing assignment for the King Lear unit.  Next week, we will sit down at our desks and write an essay showing how either Medieval or Renaissance values prevail in King Lear.  We must find quotes, explain them and their significance to our claim, and then conclude that one set of values defeats the other in this tragic Shakespeare tale.  And on top of that, we won't know which side we have to argue until the day of the test.  So in order to assure success, we must find evidence for both sides prevailing over the other.  

I personally am very enthused by this requirement.  Shakespeare's plays, so far ahead of his time in thoughts, themes, and deeds, deserve a hard look from more than one perspective.  If we were only required to argue one of the points, we would go through the entire book missing half the story.  I really believe that one could argue either point.  As I search the book for passages, I see just how complex the story is, and that one must be open to more than one possibility while reading and analyzing Shakespeare's texts.  

My favorite part of the assignment, however, is the prompt itself.  Earlier this year, we learned in World History about the transition from Medieval times to the Renaissance and the Enlightenment.  Knowing what I do about this shift, and knowing that it shows up in King Lear, helps me understand on a deeper level the relationships and actions of the characters.  Shakespeare's portrayal of a royal family torn between two eras reveals so much about the times, as do the times reveal much about his portrayal.  And as the word "change" has become the word of the season, I seek even more to see how change (or lack thereof) manifests itself in society at all levels.  King Lear certainly delves into that question. 

So thank you, Mr. Allen, for your deep prompt.  I'm excited to write that paper (or as excited as an overloaded high-schooler can be).

Connection: King Lear and my grandma

Last year, my maternal grandmother was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease.  This neurological syndrome begins usually in a specific muscle area then spreads slowly throughout the body, weakening the muscles and eventually leading to death.  There is no cure.  In my grandma, the disease started in her mouth and throat, slowly chipping away at her speaking, eating, and swallowing abilities.  Now, about a year and a half later, she eats and drinks through a feeding tube in her stomach, can barely speak at all, and is losing movement in her limbs.  This requires constant care by my grandpa, my parents, and a slew of doctors and caregivers.

Shakespeare's main character in King Lear, the King himself, incrementally loses control over his kingdom, his daughters, and his own mind and sanity.  From the first scene when he divides his kingdom between his two daughters to later scenes in which his guards are captured, banished, and debated over, Lear goes from a powerful medieval king to a victim of his own power distribution.  Lear's daughters, Goneril and Regan, along with their husbands, take responsibility for his care, the results of which constantly displease the King.  As demands are made and rejected, the relationship between father and daughters becomes increasingly tense.

This weekend, my aunt flew in from Alabama to meet with my mom, uncle, grandpa, and great-aunt over what to do with Grandma in the coming months.  One of the first things to come up was the caregivers that my grandma requests, fires, likes, and dislikes.  She has gone through quite a few so far, probably due to the unreasonable height of her standards.  They also discussed the possibility of nursing homes, and other long-term solutions such as that.  Similarly, one of the biggest conflicts between Lear and his daughters is whether he can keep his guards that he's had for years - they constantly disturb Goneril and Regan in their daily lives.  The daughters, like my family, only want the best for their parent, yet they have to make some tough decisions.  

This connection between my grandma and King Lear allows me to understand both the past, present, and future in my grandmother's story.   Even more so, it allows me to understand more clearly the complex relationships in King Lear, a story that can sometimes be difficult to follow and appreciate.  Most importantly, I now can more easily relate to the characters in the story, seeing their faults as products of the circumstance rather than bad character.  Before making this connection, I thought of King Lear as spiteful and his daughters as power-hungry.  And though there may be a little bit of that too, I see that they are caught up in a very complicated situation that requires compromises and often arguments.  

TED Presentations

This year's TED presentations, in all, were an interesting experience.  If I had to use two words to describe my experience, they'd be stressful and enlightening.

The so-called "collaboration" part of the project didn't go over well at all.  We had four weeks to work on the project, and 3 people in my group didn't even start working until 5 AM the morning of the presentation.  That certainly doesn't leave much time for collaboration, does it?  Since we were required to discuss and comment on others' work, I began doing that early on.  But there's only so much constructive criticism you can give to your own work.  Granted, by the last few days of the project, most of my group had begun working.  Even that, however, was not enough time to really put together a solid presentation.  

The presentations themselves, however, were very interesting.  I really liked the ideas of all the videos, and I really saw how many intelligent people surround me in the Academy.  My favorite part, by far, of the whole day was the discussion we had as an entire group after the presentations.  People really got into it, and more than just the typical few spoke their opinions.  The discussion actually got somewhere too, not just reviewing the videos or saying "I liked this presentation because they talked about the environment."  We really got to bigger questions about Change in our world.

I really don't believe that this format of presentations is the best way to instill change and progress in our world.  The stress and long hours that went into mediocre presentations really was not worth it.  I thought my presenter, Paul Collier, had amazing proposals.  But I don't think that our hastily-put-together presentation did justice to his ideas.  I think we should all be assigned to watch one TED video per week and at the end of the week discuss the video either as a class, two classes, or if possible, with the entire Academy.  This would allow all of us to learn about the video enough to intelligently discuss it with our peers.  That leaves out the strenuous, time-consuming work.  Jamie T and I discussed this idea on the day of the presentations, and I think it could really work.

In all, it was a successful day preceded by a long, frustrating night and early morning.

Captured Thought: Voting for the other party

My entire immediate family supports the democratic party. We talk about Bush failures and the candidates' policies at the dinner table, and criticize republican policy like a plague. So when my mom returned from a debate between Republican incumbant Elizabeth Coulson and Democrat Daniel Biss, I was quite surprised to hear who she plans to vote for. She's going to vote for the Republican?!?

At first I thought I had misheard her, or that she made a mistake. But no, she was sure. It's certainly not that I was critical if her decision, just that I thought she was a very firm democrat. Beth Coulson, she said, is experienced, smart, and votes with democrats on many issues important to us. So the fact that she can not only vote for democrats' bills, but she can bring other republicans with her. That's what brought my mother over to her side. There's no problem with the democrat, but no real benefit either.

This objective ideals-over-party thinking really made me admire my mom and realize how sometimes limiting our political party system has become. These past eight years have pushed partisanship up to remarkable levels, as shown by not only the presidenial election but also the disfunctional relationship between congress and the whitehouse since 2006. Democrats and republicans just do not get along anymore. And as our country's dire situation worsens, the last thing we need is more years of arguing politicians. You can blame this on both the democrats and the republicans. The democrats ram congressional campaigns in 2006 promising to reverse the dangerous Bush policies. With so mug pressure to be completely opposite from the republicans, the have limited their negotiating abilities and therefore firing up tensions. And our dear president has used his veto power a record amount over the past 2 years. This combination=failure.

So, for this reason, I support Beth Coulson for state representative. Yes, my blue family supports a republican.

(And for this reason and many others, I support Barack Obama for president.)

Best of Week: 3 minute speech

On Thursday of this past week, Mr. Allen introduced to us an activity called "3 minute speech."  Basically, each person in the class gets 3 minutes to talk in front of the class about anything on their mind.  Mr. Allen gave us the option to either study poetry or do these 3 minute speeches, and you can guess which activity we chose (not that I don't like poetry).

I got the chance to go first, and I went up to the front of the class and started talking about the first thing that came to mind, politics.  A few of my fellow students grunted at the topic, while others quickly listened in.  I really didn't care how my class was reacting, though, because it was my 3 minutes.  

Words began tumbling out of my mouth, fortunately in coherent order, as I made my case for why Barack Obama's economic, and especially tax, plans are better for America.  As the clock ticked by, I kept talking, until BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, the buzzer went off alerting the end of my turn.  I slowly emerged back into the real world, away from the warm light of contemplation and reflection.  I don't know if any one of my classmates learned anything from what I said, but I learned new things about my own thoughts.  

Then others came rotating up to the front, sinking into their own places of understanding.  I then realized how many thoughts people have that we never hear about in day to day life.  Not only that, but how many thoughts we ourselves have that we never have time to hear.  As my friends enriched me with their stories and thoughts, I felt closer to them.  I saw our common thoughts and opinions, and got to see how they best express them, without the restrictions of assignment.  We all just talked and listened.

Indeed, I will attempt to find more opportunities to speak about my views and listen to others express theirs as well.  I look forward to more 3 minute speeches.

Blogging Around

My goal in this post is to carefully read two "360 Degrees" blogs of my fellow classmates and make intelligent, encouraging, and helpful comments on their ideas.

Alli's post is entitled "360 Degrees: Homework." She starts by telling the reader her position, the typical student opinion, that she dislikes homework. Then she tells us how educators view homework, as a valuable instructional and learning tool. After that, she goes into the negative effects of homework on students, and also on their parents and familites. She ends with a question both students and teachers must answer together, "What is the proper amount of homework? We need to find somewhere in between swamping and not enough to have a lasting impact. Where is this happy medium?."

My comment: "Alli,

I too agree 100% with your views on homework, as well as all the perspectives you addressed. Sometimes I wonder if teachers really have the right to give us so much homework. If there are legal limits on how long a school day can be, could there possibly be legal limits on how much homework teachers can assign. Because homework is basically just school away from school. The National Board of Education set a standard for ideal homework time. They say that you should receive your grade number times ten minutes of homework a night. In other words, if you're in 10th grade like we are, you should receive 100 (10*10) minutes of homework per night. I think both students and teachers can agree that our homework load FAR surpasses that suggestion.

Another interesting perspective you could have played around with is the negative side of homework for teachers. They have to either make the homework or find good homework resources and then they have to grade the homework. Both of these tasks take a lot of time for them. You would think that all those extra work hours for them would persuade them to assign less homework.

Lastly, it constantly bothers me that most jobs in the adult world have a definable beginning and ending every day. Except for jobs such as doctor or CEO or lawyer or some job with very high responsibility and fluctuation, many jobs are simply 9 to 5. For example, my mom leaves for work at 8 am and comes home at 7 pm. That's a long day, but at least once she gets home, she almost never has to worry about work until the next day. Whereas students, or at least us Academy ones, worry about school whether we are in school or at home. That's WAY more than a 9 to 5 job entails.

Great post!

Daniel B."

Nick's post, "360 Degrees: Hip-Hop," tries to correct the misconception of hip-hop as racy, risque, and even "not music."  He addresses one by one the many criticisms of hip-hop, his favorite music genre, with evidence not only from our time but from his parent's generation too.  He ends with encouraging an open mind to hip-hop as a talent-demanding, legitimate art.  

My comment: "Nick,

Thanks so much for clarifying many of the generalizations that I myself felt about hip-hop. Being a music enthusiast, I sometimes feel almost offended by the lack of musicality, harmony, or even pitch that some hip-hop songs possess. Yet, as you say, maybe I'm just looking at the definition of these words all wrong. You're right in that harmony can just be a person reciting a story in rhymes over a beat. I guess I need to look harder for good hip-hop songs that have singing and other elements that I require in my definition of "good music." 

I really like how you address all the criticisms of hip-hop one by one with strong, convincing evidence. The dictionary definition was a great addition! 

I've never thought of myself as someone living in the past, but I guess in some ways I do in music. I'm really interested in listening to more hip-hop now, and if you have any suggestions of good songs, I'll take a listen. 

Great job!

Daniel B."

360 Degrees: Marching Band

As I write this, I am on a bus on the way to a marching band competition. Now you might be wondering why I'm spending my Saturday in band. Many if my friends wonder the same thing, as do I from time to time. There are 180 people in my band, all marching around in formations on a field and playing music. Sometimes I wonder how I, as an individual, really make a difference. Why do they need me?

Yet I do find a great deal of individual reward in band. The judging at competitions is based not only on the big picture of the entire band, but also on individual playing and marching. So every time our band gets an award, I know that my performance went into that, hopefully in a positive way. And everytime we watch
the videos of our performances, I see not only the great forms that our band makes, but also my contribution to the sound and picture of the band. That feeling, I believe, justifies my commitment to the band.

For some, however, just being here doesn't automatically mean they are comitted to working at 100% all the time. Every Tuesday and Thursday night for three hours, we bandies leave our daily homework routines, grab our instruments and head to the football field. Our instructors say that we should always give it our all at rehearsal, that we made the choice to be there. And yet, in order to be in band at GBS, you have to do marching band. So does that mean we should just "go through the motions?" Sometimes I think so, and then I remember the saying that one of our instructors likes to use. "Practice makes PERMANENT." Just practicing doesn't make you good. Practicing well makes you good. And it is with this mindset that I come to rehearsal with a positive attitude and ready to work.

So with that 360 degree observation, I see the influences that brought me to my conclusion about marching band. After all, a 360 degree turn means you end up in the same direction in which you began. Now, I'm sitting on the bus on the way home, the competition over. My individual contribution to a larger cause has produced yet another award. Second place! In my books, though, it's a first place.

Metacognition: Kite Runner Evidence Plan

This weekend I developed an evidence plan for my Kite Runner thesis paper.  I chose to write about Khaled Hosseini's switch to present tense at moment in a novel that he writes in past tense.  I worked on my thesis with Mr. Allen, and he asked me to look at all the places in the novel written in present tense, and come up with a general conclusion as to why Amir (technically Hosseini) wrote them that way.  I did just that, going through the six present tense passages (I didn't re-read the whole novel, so I may have missed one) in The Kite Runner.  I carefully read and re-read the passages, and within about 15 minutes came up with a decisive reason.  Amir shifts to present tense in order to separate moments that he cannot reconcile with the realizations and themes of his memoir, and therefore still contemplates.

Traditionally, authors write memoirs in past tense as a way to come to a realization or reach closure about one's past.  And even though Hosseini's is a novel, we still see the memoir style throughout the novel.  However, these present tense moments jump out at us in a form-is-content fashion.  Since Amir, the fictional author of The Kite Runner, theoretically writes this book looking back from a certain point, then present tense passages show moments that he still reflects then, and cannot reconcile with the rest of his memoir that has already occurred for him.  

I really like this idea that I found in the passages, because it speaks to not only Hosseini's crafting brilliance but also enhances the memoir style.  By contradicting traditional memoir style, he shows both the complexity and flexibility of his story.  The one problem I have is that I struggle, as you can see from above, to express my idea in a concise claim.  I'm sure Mr. Allen will work on that with me, but at least I know that the evidence supports my claim.  Now my task is to elaborate on analysis of the evidence and significance of my claim to form a complete paper.

Best of Week: Short Sentences

In class this week, we read through and discussed most of the first chapter, Short Sentences, of Artful Sentences: Syntax as Style by Virginia Tufte.  The chapter contains numerous examples of how authors use short sentences in writing at the beginning, middle, and end of paragraphs, and their effects.  In the discussion, Mr. Allen explained to us the clued us in on the main purpose of short sentences.  Voice.  He advised us to mix all lengths of sentences into our writing, and how that displays the theme of the book, Form is Content.

This idea of short sentences and voice triggers thoughts in me about uniqueness.  How is my writing unique from others'?  I think everyone writes slightly differently, but not everyone's writing stands out.  I imagine that Artful Sentences and Mr. Allen will give me tools for my writing to do just that.  

I plan to use short sentences in my writing throughout the rest of my school and adult life.  Mr. Allen specifically pointed out that short sentences are key to an outstanding college admissions essay.  He told us that faculty reads through thousands of essays, and many are stuffed with as many long sentences as possible.  A good way to add a unique, non-run-of-the-mill student's voice is to mix in short sentences that grab the reader's attention and/or relieve the reader.  Varying sentences can add a musical quality to the paper, therefore making it more appealing.  That's a way to get into the "in" pile.  

Beyond writing, this concept of uniqueness will help me stand out as a person, making a greater impact on the world.  After all, doesn't everyone want to be remembered for something?  As I think every day about what I want to do later in life, I never forget this question.  How am I/can I be unique?  The lesson of short sentences helps to make me a unique writer, but I'm still looking for ways to make myself a unique person.  But isn't that really for me to find out?  We'll see.

Carry it Forward: The Kite Runner

The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini, really stresses the importance of taking action. Amir's biggest regret is not taking action as his best friend got raped before his eyes. From then on, Amir's happiest and most successful moments come with proactivity. Amir didn't wait very long before marrying Sariya, and took much initiative in caring for Baba's health. Amir also persued his writing career with an ultimately pleasing result. And when Rahim Khan called on Amir to return to Pakistan, Amir did so with little hesitation. This also turned out to be a crucial moment in Amir's life. As Amir says on page 202 "There is only what you do and what you don't do."

Just as Amir learned the value of action, I too hope to carry the idea forward in my life. In today's society, it seems that happiness comes at a cost. I'm not saying that money equals happiness, but rather that achievement equals happiness (this achievement just happens to sometimes come with monetary gain). Achievement can mean different things for different people. To me, I hope to achieve success in high school and go on to college and graduate school in order to help people through politics. I want to become active in the social justice and political world, therefore helping others. And I know that this goal requires action, and that it will not just come to me. I have to go out and get it.

I also have to take action in everday life, not just over the long term. In the middle of writing this post, I went out on my street door-to-door to finish selling cookies for a school fundraiser. I really did not want to do it, as I can't help but imagine the annoyed thoughts going through people's heads as they pay $15.00 for cookies they'll probably never end up eating. But I went anyway, and finally sold my 15 boxes. I could have chosen to not complete my goal, but then I would have let down the music department and myself. In the long run, the benefits of the fundraising will overshadow the few awkward moments collecting money from neighbors.

It's always hard to look at things over the long run, but I believe that my actions can steer me in the right direction. After all, taking action means taking control of the long run. It means taking control of life.